Have you ever had sex and felt incredibly anxious after? Having sex can leave people feeling awkward, worried or confused. Society has created high demands and pressure around what sex should look like along with what communication protocals should follow. It is totally normal to feel anxious post-sex. Below are tips that can help you navigate your anxiety!

If you’re hoping to talk to someone about this type of anxiety, feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation for anxiety therapy.

1. Try a breathing exercise

This can help keep your body and mind in the present moment while promoting feelings of calmness and relaxation. All you need for this exercise is your breath and a few minutes of time. To begin, sit or lay down in a comfortable position and inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Then hold this for 4 seconds. Then, gently exhale through your mouth for a count of 4. At the bottom of the breath, pause and hold for the count of 4. The best thing about this is it’s free of charge and can be done anywhere! This breathing exercise can help you be more present in the moment.

2. Avoid pressuring yourself to have sex when you’re not feeling it

Oftentimes, individuals want to satisfy their sexual partners or feel obligated to have sex. If you are not getting any pleasure out of having sex, there is a stronger possibility you will have a negative outcome. You may want to focus more on what might make you feel more comfortable or pleasured. You may find connecting with this person on a deeper level to build more intimacy first may alleviate some of your anxiety. 

3. Come up with a safe word

Having a safe word when having sexual interactions can help if the sex is too intense, irritating or unenjoyable. When you create a safe word, once it is said, all the sexual interactions should stop. From this point, you can check in with one another, and share your feelings on what made you feel uncomfortable. This allows for emotional safety and creates a comfortable path moving forward. 

4. Communicate what you want to do post-sex 

Similar to how we  communicate our preferences during sex, the same should go for post-sex. Some people want to be cuddled, others want kisses, and some quite frankly just want to be left alone. Obviously, people in a committed  relationship may feel safer having this conversation. That being said, if you are hooking up with someone consistently and are not in a committed relationship, you can still discuss sexual preferences both during and post-sex!

5. Speak to a therapist 

If your find yourself consistently feeling anxiety before, during or after sex for any reason, it may be helpful to consider therapy. For some, therapy can assist with working through any past sexual traumas that may be influencing your current sex life. For others, there may be anxiety around performance and/or being able to stay present in the moment during sexual activity. Many people see therapists for reasons such as intimacy concerns, sexual health, sexual trauma, and anxiety. A therapist can help you navigate your fears while also exploring your needs and ways to enhance your sex life. You may even want to consider seeing a trained sex therapist if you find that you are having difficulties or dysfunction in your sexual relationships.

For more information on anxiety therapy, or to schedule a consultation/call, you can contact me by clicking here.