When we talk about breakups, we usually think about romantic relationships, but breakups with a close friend can be just as important and hurtful. Of course, that does not necessarily mean that the “break up” was a mistake. We all have different priorities, and that’s completely okay. We need to normalize the fact that relationship--platonic and romantic--have a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes we need a break, and admittedly that can be hard. With that in mind, keep reading for tips on navigating a break up with a close friend.

And if you are looking to talk further about this change in your life, feel free to reach out to me to schedule a consultation for individual therapy.

Pinpoint the major issue

• First, try to analyze the relationship and why it is no longer working for you. Focus on your feelings (because they’re valid!). Are you feeling drained around this friend? Do you think they are too dependent on you? Maybe you don’t like who you are with them? None of these feelings make you a bad friend; they might just be a sign that you need some space.

Decide what you want the next step to be

• Once you’ve taken a closer look at your feelings, you can figure out how you want to navigate that relationship going forward. This can look like setting firmer boundaries, taking a break, or ending the friendship.

Share your feelings and your intention

• Usually, it’s a good idea to share how you are feeling with your friend, focusing on expressing your feelings. Be clear when it comes to how you want to move forward, setting clear expectations for the future of your friendship (or lack thereof). However, if this person is toxic, you do not need to explain yourself to them.

Avoid sharing details with mutual friends

• If you have decided to move on from the friendship, it’s best not to start telling other friends about the details of your falling out, which can quickly digress into an exclusive and cliquey scenario. Be clear that you do not want to involve your other friends in your falling out and that you do not want these mutual acquaintances to take sides.

Seek support from objective, third party

• Rather than talking to your mutual friends, seek support from an unbiased friend (someone who does not know the other person) or a therapist. This can help you feel supported and validated as you navigate this new stage in your friendship.

For more information or if you have any questions at all, feel free to contact me by clicking here.