How To Navigate Dating When You Don’t Drink

There are plenty of reasons to stop drinking, and all of them are valid. Maybe you’ve struggled with addiction, have a chronic illness, or take mental health medications. Maybe you are focusing on diet and lifestyle changes for other reasons. No matter why you choose to forego drinking, you should feel confident in that decision--and you should bring that confidence into your dating life.

If you want to talk to someone about how to best approach dating when you don’t drink, feel free to reach out to learn more about individual therapy.

Here are some tips for navigating dating when you don’t drink:

1. Own it

Be confident and assured when sharing this information. Remember, your decision is completely valid! Plus, you do not have to share the information that you’re uncomfortable with disclosing. You can tell your date that you don’t drink and simply leave it at that. If you want, you could also explain why, keeping your explanation as specific or generic as you want.

Some examples include:

“I don’t love the way it makes me feel.”

“I am super productive when I don’t drink.”

“It’s just not my thing.”

“I don’t love the taste.” 

2. Find something else on the drink menu you’ll like

You can always check out the menu before your date to pick out a drink you will feel comfortable ordering. Maybe it’s soda or iced tea or even hot chocolate. Tell the person you’re with what drink you prefer to drink instead. It makes it less awkward when you can both be drinking something you’ll enjoy. 

3. Ask yourself: are you okay dating someone who drinks?

Check in with yourself on how you feel about dating someone who does drink, and try to consider what drinking means to the person you are dating. Many people are fine dating someone who doesn’t drink if they can continue to drink and do not feel judged for that decision. Depending on both of your feelings about this lifestyle difference, you might want to think more about your compatibility going forward.

4. Accept that it might not work out

Some people might not be cool with your decision not to drink, and they might prefer to date someone with a similar lifestyle and drinking preferences. That’s okay, and it does NOT make your decision any less valid. It just means that this person is not for you.

For more information on individual therapy, or if you have any questions, feel free to contact me here.