What is a textationship?
Textationship: (n.) that person who is always there for you over the phone, but not in person.
Sound familiar? Someone who texts you all of the time, but never makes an effort to see you in person? Or, if they do see you, they don’t give you the acknowledgement or respect that you feel you deserve?
You might feel like your relationship is really going somewhere. You’re super comfortable with them and feel as though you can really open up to this person. But what happens if one of you is always “too busy” to make plans? If “something just came up” and they have to cancel at the last minute yet again, even if you literally text all day and all night… you’re probably in a textationship.
In a textationship, there is going to be some emotional vulnerability, but it might be one-sided. Textationships often are the result of someone’s ability to open up and show emotional vulnerability. Why spend all day and all night pouring your heart out to someone who isn’t reciprocating?!
If you want to talk to someone more about textationships or relationships in general, feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation for individual therapy.
Recogninzing a textationship.
When you realize you’re in a textationship, you might realize that they aren’t really interested in forming a real relationship with you. It may be easier for this person to remain superficial and behind a screen, rather than making plans to do things together face-to-face and allowing for an emotionally vulnerable bond to form. People make time to do the things they care about and to see people they really want to form a relationship with.
If you recognize that you’re engaging in a textationship with someone of romantic interest, you can ask them flat out if they’re only looking for something casual. By giving them an opportunity to clarify what they’re looking for, you’re giving yourself an exit route from a textationship.
It’s not just romantic.
And it doesn’t always need to be romantic! Texationships happen between friends, too. Perhaps once upon a time, you and your friend were really close, but life may have caused a rift. Maybe one of you focused on your career while the other got married and had kids. Life got in the way and someone began putting less effort into the relationship until it eventually became a textationship.
If you recognize that you are in a textationship, or even entering a textationship, with a friend, try to communicate how you’re feeling with this person. A true friend will take your feelings and concerns into consideration, but a friend who is only trying to maintain a textationship might not.
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